Saturday, February 25, 2012

What fish say when they swim into a brick wall

As far as Fort Collins winter riding goes, we're dam lucky to have this ride in our backyard.  I touched on how dam fun this ride can be in a blog called Ol' Shot Run if your goal is to bike and get hammered all day.  Today was a little different, I just wanted to get the cobwebs outta my dam legs if you know what I mean.  It's been awhile and I wanted to feel the burn again.  I picked the right day for it.  I decided to do this run from the north to the south and there just happened to be a whipping 20mph head wind outta the south.  There were points in the ride where the wind had caused me to nearly stand still on these climbs.  Brutal stuff.  But I wanted my legs to hurt, and dam if they didn't!  This is the same loop Schuyler and I did two Christmas Eve's ago when Shred Nettles family was nice enough to let us join in their family get-together and even gave us wine while they opened gifts.  Props up to Sky for showing me the last climb on this north to south route that is on private property.  It really completes the dam loop nicely.  Lemme just say this to all you singletrack dudes who think road riding isn't hardcore enough for you.  Whe the trails are muddy, quit riding them wet and trenching them out and eroding the hell out of em.  Get over yourself and ride concrete when it's wet, man.  Jeez.

Sarah Silverman and Patrice O'Neal on todays ride.
On a side note, I gotta say, road riding is not always thrilling.  That's not a negative.  It's just that while road riding, I spend more time inside my own head than I do while ripping fast lines down rocky singletrack.  And that can be a good thing.  Props up to Dead Deer's Willie for showing me Marc Maron's WTF podcast.  I gotta say that I'm a true blue stand up nerd from Marc's era.  I know WHAT he's talking about. I know WHO he's talking about.  I'm old.  I was there.  When my own thoughts are not enough to keep me entertained on long road rides, his thoughts are.  I love it.  What a great day!

You can tell how windy it is.  Look at those white cap waves.

Here's the favorite part of my ride.  It's the road at the far south end of Horsetooth reservoir.  It's dirt, which is great, it's a great climb and a blast to come down.  The best part?  It's illegal!  If you do this ride, you actually get to break the law.  BONUS.  My favorite part is that the rich piece-of-shit asshole who put up this sign underlined the words WILL BE, like the fact he has a HOA guarantees the prosecution of a guy like me who has the fucking GALL to bike by his fucking estate.  I've biked this road a dozen times and no one ever came out.  I hope so fucking bad that someone does come out, I'm just gonna keep ridin it, and ridin it, and ridin it until some pencil-dick smarmy mansion owner chases me down.  Cause then it's on.  Do yourself, myself, and the guy who made this gate a favor and RIDE THIS ROAD.  Whenever you can.  Just ride it.  It's super fun.  Throw your bike over and walk around the right side of the gate.  It's my goal to make this stretch of road, the most coveted and most popular Sunday afternoon road ride in all Larimer county. Like, clogged with tourists kind of popular.  Let me know when you do, hell, leave a comment.
These people MUST BE jerkoffs
View of Richfuck Road
View of Fort Collins from Richfuck Road
How windy?

This windy.
Dam Route
Dam Elevation Profile

Well, like I said, great ride on a great day.  Sorry for the diatribe, but I don't know how else to express the feelings that arise when you have to bike by a sign like that every day.  Who are these people?

Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHAN!  Come do backwards fixie-circle-high-fives sometime.

Signs, Signs, E'rywhur da Signs,

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