Tres Montañas

Well, here ya go.


Tres Montañas Trax


Tres Montañas Profile.

Have fun with this one. Find me when you're done and I'll buy you a shot of whatever the hell you want. Unless it's stupid or gross.

This one goes out to Jaime and the select few of others who grabbed the bull by the anus and did this one last year. "Goodnight you princes of Colorado, you kings of the Fort..."

Rock-n-Ballz,
Sir Zness da Pness

Get C.H.I.F.'D. y'all.

Ol' Shot Run

A few Sundays back I was feelin a bit distraught by the inclement weather we were experiencing and how it was keeping me off the mountain bike. So as I awoke at the crack of noon, I figured it was time to mount up the fixie again. As I was driving back to my house I was trying to think of an original loop that hadn't already been done. About half way home it dawned on me; weather be damned, I would put on my long underwear and invent a fixie loop called "Shot Run". Literally as I was driving, I passed Drunk Cody and his pal Badass Brandon. I pulled over immediately and asked them if they had it in em to do a single speed loop called "Shot Run". With no follow up questions at all they got on there bikes and ripped with me on one of the funnest bike loops (mountain or otherwise) that I've ever done!
PBRs at my house started things off...

(BTW. i saved all the receipts and each whiskey is rated out of 10 by level of kick-ass)



3 Well Whiskeys @ Road34 = $9 (benchmark 7/10)


3 Well Whiskeys @ JJs Tavern = $10.50 (Kentucky Bow 3/10)


Cig on the move before the 1st climb to "open up the lungs"


3 hot rigs


3 Well Whiskeys @ Canyon Grill - $9 (Jim Beam 7/10) (also 3 Busch Heavys)


A quick stop to mellow the fuck out. (Cody made that shirt the day before)


Supermannin down the north dam into a headwind. Sick!


3 Well Whiskeys at Swing Station=$9 (Early Times 6/10)


3 Well Whiskeys @ The Long Branch=$9 (Old Crow 8/10)


3 Whiskeys on my front porch = $0 (Bulleit 9/10)



Last beer of the loop gets annihilated by my thumb! (wild... I can never thumb beers. super pumped)


Shot Run elevation profile. Some of those climbs feel as fuckin straight up as they look.


Shot Run from SPACE!


Total Cost of Shot Run = $46.50(not including tip and beers) for 3 dudes. Not Bad.
Total Fun of Shot Run = $1 Gazillion.

If you think you wanna give it a "Shot" gimme a call. I'm ready to try it again. Hell, maybe backwards next time!

Stay dangerous chums.
Crankin N Stankin,
Zness da Pness

Fruita Finale

After 2 nights of getting hammered, riding bikes, and sleeping in the desert, we were definitely ready for more. Meister, Schuyler, and I rolled over to 18 road to shred the bookcliff trails, campout, and to basically keep the bender rollin.
The thing about these trails is that most of them are beginner-type fun runs. It would be a great place to take a beginner mountain biker (or even an outdoorsy date) to rip around, camp out, and just have fun. It's kind of weird seeing so many full suspension bikes out there when most of these trails are perfect for single speed rigids or 29rs (hell, most of the trails are in a cattle field). Schuyler and Meister both had rigid 29rs, and I figured that I might as well just shred my fixed gear. Although Zippity Do Da has up and down tech with really steep lines and drops. It is pretty much the funnest expert trail out there and is great for a full suspension rig, but still not necessary.
I assumed all the trails to be pretty mellow and decided to do the first loop on a trail I had never actually ridden before. So without knowing the terrain, we dropped into Joe's Ridge on our single speeds. I'm not gonna lie, ripping that trail on my fixed gear was so fuckin insane, fun, and mostly scary as shit. I definitely had a few cocktails beforehand and was feelin loose, but I had the attitude that if shit got gnarly, I could always clip out and walk. But typically, once I was pointed down I just kept on shredding. (although I did have to step off on one super steep roll-in to a hard banked left that just doesn't seem possible fixed without blowing the corner). It was one of the funnest most intense loops that I've ever done on a bike. I even aired out on a lip getting more air on that bike than I ever have before. I popped er up so high I actually stopped the back tire from moving while in mid air then I landed and rode away clean. So fun. I was so fuckin pumped. I used to think that fixed mountain biking was for trendy, masochistic jerk-offs, but now that I find myself doing it more and more, there really is a flowing, fun, methodical nature to it. Either that or I'm a trendy masochistic jerk off. Oh... and a drunk.

Rippers Rippin. Meister and Schuyler are maniacs.

Schuyler with the hammer back on our 'gun run'. Mountain bikes, booze, and bullets were meant to be.

Shuttled night shredding means no pedaling, and a shot and a beer between every run until someone gives up or crashes. We were at it til 3 in the morning.

This is how we spent every night on the trip. Head in the dirt.

Schuyler grabbin water with a view back of Zippity Do Da. I love this photo.

If you've never been out there before, hopefully some of this info gives you an idea on what to expect. It really is a fucking blast with something for every kind of rider (especially the drunk kind). It might be a bitch to head out that way in the middle of the summer, because it gets hot as shit in June, July, and August. But the climate in spring and fall is perfect for riding all day and passing out under the stars at night.
Those were some of the highlights. Sorry for being so long winded, but a lot of shit went down out west. Keep kickin ass.
Zness

Fruita Part 2

During George's race Schuyler, Meister, and myself took off to the kokopelli trails to go ride one of the funnest loops in Fruita called the "Horse Theif Bench Loop" (for the most fun, do this loop clockwise). It's full of shelves, drops, fun descents and climbs. It's one of my favorites but by no means have I seen everything yet. It starts off with a section of trail that is nasty even to walk with clipless shoes on. It's a burly-off camber-dusty-high commitment-long-ass-fall-off-the-side-of-a-cliff kind of section of trail. We were lucky enough to come upon it while a guy was attempting it on his Yeti 575. After 3 heart stopping attempts he finally got it. He took more of a trials riding approach to it, but hey, whatever works. He nearly got bucked off the edge a couple times and that shit is scary to watch. Also, you wouldn't want to go OTB on those ledges because you would definitely be fucked.

Schuyler and I on our final "Underwear Run" at the 18 hour of Fruita race.

The man on the Yeti on his first attempt at the Horse Theif Bench. Completely ridiculous.

One of countless drops on the Horse Thief Loop that makes it so much damn fun.

Schuyler trying to piss into the Colorado River from high above. A portion of Horse Thief Loop can be seen in the upper right.

Meister and Schuyler kickin back.


After that day was over, we went back to the New Belgium party and burned it down again. It was a damn good time... Next, we were on our way to the bookcliffs on 18 road for the next couple of days.

That'll be next. Later. Zness

18 Hours of Fruita

Got a few days off to head out and do some bikin on the western slope. I met up with Schuyler and Meister to "support" our pal Shred Nettles on his duo 18 hour race. By "support" I mean trying to slug a 30 rack of PBR and a 1.75 of whiskey in 18 hours (which we did, and then a little more for good measure...) George and his partner Rad Randy ended up taking 2nd in an unbelievably long ass race. They both put down 117 miles in 18 hours. Absolutely sick. The track was pretty mellow as far as shredding goes, but ripping it for that long is something that I don't think I'm ready for. We all knew George could shred a mountain bike, but coming in 2nd in a race like that shows that he's a real deal athlete.

Nettles and I on a pre race fun lap. I ripped my fixie on a lot of trail this weekend.

Rachel was the real "support" keeping george alive with delicious hot food after every lap for the whole 18 hours.

Epic Jim Beam guitar solo. Face melting shred.

Shy-lock kept the tunes and booze rockin the whole time. We were a goddamn mobile party unit.

Shred Nettles and Rad Randy finally got to drink a booze after a long ass race. They fuckin rip.

After the race we all went to ride a ton more trails in the area. I'll post up more as soon as this goddamn hangover goes away. It was so bad this morning that I actually drank the water while I was in the shower. I just couldn't help it. I was dry as shit!

Tip up, homeys.

Zness

Timber to Howard Loop

Eddie Herbs and I shredded the Timber to Howard loop today for the first time. As always, that Timber climb is gnarly. I don't really see a day when I'll ever clean it. If you can, holy shit... good for you. Then we ripped down Howard and at one point during the descent, it was heard to be described as "burly". There are lots of sniper rocks to plug your front tire into and a nice long fall down the side of the cliff if you wreck (especially if you don't get clipped out). But there is one helluva view once you come around Aurther's Rock to drop into it. The photo doesn't do it justice, but when you come around it looks almost straight down onto the reservior. I think it's probably one of the best view from any of the front range trails.



This tree blew over across the trail at the top of Timber from the winds this week.


View from where Howard and Timber meet.

View from the drop in to the Howard single-track. Straight down.

Elevation profile from the Lory parking lot and back. The highlighted section is the Howard descent.

Loop Tracks

Well, I'm headed to Fruita to rip and watch fellow Jewel-Groupie Shred Nettles race in some enduro thang. He's pretty much cooler than you anyways.

Zness Da Pness